


Personal Notes (22) Neglect

by longhairshortfuse



Series: Carlos's Secret Diary [22]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Porn, Smut, just an excuse really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 05:03:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1732175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longhairshortfuse/pseuds/longhairshortfuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil visits Carlos at work, but there are problems brewing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Personal Notes (22) Neglect

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully the join is less obvious now.

There have been some interesting phenomena recently at the house that isn't there. Intern Dana, who got trapped in the Dog Park some time ago, somehow contacted Cecil. She described how she followed the dog park walls which just kept going and going. It is impossible to tell without going in to get some measurements of the inside compared with the outside, but I think Dana may have discovered some kind of warp in space-time. Dana also found an old oak door, went through and found herself inside a house. I think the inside of the house might be in some kind of alternate or parallel universe since the conversation Cecil reported seemed like two halves of entirely different conversations somehow stuck together. I wish I could go in and study this space-time-warped alternate universe, it is so exciting! 

Dana reported that John Peters, you know... was there but couldn't see or hear her and that her hand went through him. Perhaps the house is the way into (or out of) several alternates. Dana found a door to the outside and left the house. I was at the house when a young woman who sounded like Dana emerged, talking to Cecil on her cellphone (although I only confirmed this later. I feel bad for Cecil, he liked Dana and misses her). She did not respond to us when we spoke to her and she ran straight through Gio, who observed that she felt like a cold wind.

...the farmer. Damnit! I can't say or write anything but his whole name and occupation. If I stop halfway, I get a wierd feeling like a tickle in my brain until I finish.

In his show last week, Cecil complained that I chew too loudly but he called me "my Carlos" which made up for it. We have rarely seen each other recently, I have been so busy at the lab. But something happened to make me change my priorities.

Two days ago, I sat on a plastic lab stool at my workbench and studied my data from outside the dog park carefully, playing with the numbers, looking for patterns. Everyone else had gone for lunch but this problem bugged me so much I wouldn't leave it. I heard the door behind me as it whomped shut and sensed a welcome presence in the room. "Hi stranger," I said, as a hand caressed my hair. Cecil said he had some time and was thinking about me, missed me. We have been so very busy, both of us. He continued to run his cool fingers gently through my hair, down the back of my neck to just below my collar and up again to the top of my head. It made me shiver and tingle pleasantly from the base of my skull to the curve of my lower back. I put my pencil down, sighed with pleasure and dropped my head forward, exposing a little more of my neck. I wondered if he knew what reaction was happening around my body. He kissed the back of my neck, put his hands on my shoulders and swivelled the stool so that I faced him. I stood up and put my hands around his head, fingers lacing into his perfectly straight hair, pulled him to me and we kissed gently. He slipped his arms around my waist under my lab coat. How long do you have? I asked. Just long enough, he whispered and moved both hands down along the curve of my buttocks. 

I led Cecil to the back of the lab, took the basement key off its hook and unlocked the door. We went in, locking the door again behind us. I put the key in his pocket and led him downstairs, counting them in the dark. My eyes adjusted to what little light entered from around the door and I could just make out the looming shape of the cages. Cecil's eyes shone violet when they caught and reflected the meagre light. We kissed again. I started to remove my lab coat but Cecil said leave it on. We unfastened belts and buttons, pulled out shirts and pushed clothing out of the way. Cecil pretended to rummage in my lab coat pocket and brought out two condoms. I giggled. Protection from what? I asked. Not from, he replied, for. I bet neither of us wants to go back to work with clothing stains we'd rather not explain. Kissing urgently, mouths, faces, necks, barely able to stand we used our hands on each other until I came with a shuddering groan. I leaned against him slightly as I recovered then crouched down and took him into my mouth. He grasped the mesh of the cage behind his head and came quickly, panting and gasping. 

We leaned against the mesh, against each other, touching but not moving. I laughed as we straightened out our clothing. Cecil asked why and I explained that I hadn't taken him to my apartment upstairs because I hadn't cleaned up properly, but the cages still stunk of pterodactyl shit. He smiled and said that romance wasn't dead, just severely dented. I promised to make it up to him and suggested early dinner the next day wherever he wanted to go then an evening in with a movie. He said that sounded neat but reminded me that I had already stood him up once and cancelled twice. I treated him so badly. I was ashamed and glad that I couldn't see his face properly. His violet eyes glinted at me. I held him close and promised to make time for him, for us, make him see that he was my priority. Your place then, cook something, he said, and we went back upstairs to face the rest of the day. Cecil to the radio station, me to my numbers, but musing on possible energy discharge patterns seemed so much less important than mulling over recipes and hiring a cleaner. 

Ell arrived back with Gio as Cecil walked past the window and waved. They looked at each other, rolling their eyes. I see you had someone for lunch, Ell said quietly. I blushed deeply and kept my head down but I couldn't hide my grin.

I excused myself from the lab late afternoon yesterday and went up to my apartment. It was clean and tidy and smelled different now that the cleaner I hired to get rid of three weeks of my mess had dealt with the bin and the laundry and the neglect. We didn't meet, I was embarrassed by the state the place was in, but I left a generous tip. I looked around and resolved not to let it get into a mess again. What if Cecil came round unannounced? What if he wanted to stay over and I had no clean linen? I had been to his apartment a few times and it was always comfortable, clean and tidy. Disappointingly, he was reluctant to sleep over. I had slept over at his place twice although one of those times doesn't count as he doesn't know. I checked that there were spare towels, the tunic he had left with me was in the wardrobe rather than crumpled and wrapped around a pillow, and the contents of the drawer by the bed hadn't been disturbed.

Cecil had asked for me to cook and then an evening in with a movie. I like going out and showing off that such a beautiful man chooses to be with me, but tonight there was nothing I wanted more than to stay home with him, not have to share his attention, relax together for hours, laugh and listen to his voice, maybe go to bed early... Just in case, I took the mirror from the bathroom off the wall and slid it out of sight behind the drawers, then turned the bedroom mirror to the wall. I could ask him about that. I decided to cook pasta because it's quick, easy and I can make reasonable carbonara. For the first time I made him dinner, I wanted something I could rely on getting right. I had a choice of movies because I had no idea what he liked to watch, other than Cat Ballou. Just in case I also got Aliens, Starship Troopers and Bringing Up Baby. I like monster films. Mostly what I had to do was wait. I paced the small apartment like I was in a bad zoo.

He arrived just as I was beginning to worry that he wouldn't. I closed the door behind him and he handed me a bottle of wine, white and not quite chilled. I put it in the freezer. Cecil followed me through to the tiny kitchen, really just an alcove off the lounge. I closed the freezer door and asked if he was hungry. He said yes and put his arms around my waist from behind, kissed my neck through my hair. I leaned back against him for a moment then turned to face him, kiss him properly. I told him that I had been worried that he might have changed his mind, might not come round. He said, with emphasis on I and you, " _I_ would have texted _you_." My stomach lurched as he stepped away. I said again that I was sorry about having let him down, let work carry me away from him, push him away from me. He looked into my eyes, looked away and said that he had come to the lab yesterday to remind me of him, in case I had forgotten and was moving on. He said that if I had turned him away he could not have come back, could not take another rejection. I held him, closed my eyes and tried to stifle the panic that he might leave me.

We sat at opposite ends of the couch. We sat in silence, I felt awkward for the first time since our first date when I had no idea how to talk to him. I stared into space, not knowing what to do or say next. Were we falling out, about to have our first argument? It didn't feel like one but I was drained. Cecil took my hand, enveloped it in both of his. I sat paralysed. I stuttered that I would try to be better. Why did I not say the words in my head? Why did I not tell Cecil that he was everything, my love, my life, my world? I couldn't speak. So we sat there quietly until darkness crept in beside us. 

Cecil spoke softly against my silence. "Tell me again about stars," and words gradually returned to me. I explained slowly at first that stars were huge masses of hydrogen and helium, my words coming faster as I talked about gravity and radiation pressure, fusion and how heavier elements were formed, how a star would change over billions of years, swelling into a red giant, perhaps leading to a supernova throwing out atoms that would eventually be used to build new stars with planets. I was sketching in the air as I spoke, lost in science. I looked at Cecil as I ended with, "you and I are made from bits of stars." He was smiling.  
"That was beautiful," he said. "You love science so much that you can't hide it."  
I thought, but didn't say, "yes but I love you more." Instead, "I said I'd cook," I replied. "Are you hungry?"  
"You did," he replied, "and I am." We stood up. I moved towards the kitchen but he pulled me back to him and kissed me. "That's not what I meant," he said, and steered me towards the bedroom.

We undressed each other at leisure, touching and teasing. I kissed his face, his neck where it met his shoulder, worked my way down then gently bit the softest part of his stomach, both of my hands on his buttocks. I picked Cecil up and carried him the few steps to the bed and dropped him on his back. I got up beside him, rolled him over onto his side and spooned the curve of my body around his. I stroked him everywhere I could, his free hand reached behind him to my erection just as I started massaging his. He turned around to face me, we kissed as he reached to the drawer by the bed, opened it and brought out the contents. I opened a condom and put the tip of it between my lips then wriggled down and started putting it on him, rolling it as far as I could with my lips and tongue. He had opened the tube and smeared gel on his hand. I sprawled beside him as he spread the lube, using one finger then two inside me, circling as I got more and more aroused. Three. 

Do it, I said, I begged. Do it. I gasped as he withdrew his fingers and pulled me over onto my back. He guided my legs onto his shoulders and leaned forward. He just entered me, only just, and slowly rocked back and forwards, getting a little deeper each time as my muscles learned to stretch. He stroked my erection with one hand, supported just enough of his weight with the other. I shifted slightly to steer him into the right position to make me squirm with delight and cry out, and gripped the bed tightly with both fists. He moved deeper and faster, eyes closed in concentrated, joyful oblivion. I felt him come, felt waves washing over him, opened my eyes to see exhausted rapture on his face. 

He stayed still for a few moments then pulled out slowly, making me sigh. I told him I was too close and he kissed me, teasing with his tongue. He pulled me over to the edge of the bed and knelt on the floor between my legs. I lay back on the bed with my feet on the floor. He traced his tongue up the inside of my thigh, making me shiver in anticipation. I had to concentrate to hold on, wait for more. His tongue flicked over my testicles then up the shaft of my penis to the tip. He sucked gently with a slow rhythm, hands finding their way backwards to stroke my buttocks. I came hard as his fingers found their way back inside, the intensity of pleasure almost unbearable. We sank to the floor in each others' arms. I was an idiot to have ever risked losing him.

After a while we got up and showered, I made dinner and we talked openly for the first time about what we meant to each other, what we wanted. I promised to be a better boyfriend. He promised to tell me if he needed more than I was giving. He said that he was concerned that all we did recently was satisfy our lust then go back to work, and asked what would happen when the inferno died down to a flame. Would physical desire give way to something lasting, or not? 

I answered truthfully that I didn't know but I thought it should and hoped it would. I asked what could I do to make things better now and make the future of our relationship more secure. Cecil's answer was simple and at the same time one of the hardest things to do. Be there. I asked him to stay all night, be here for me too. He left. I watched from my window as he walked from the outside door to his car then I turned away from the window, waiting for the sound of his car driving away. It was quiet. A minute later there was a knock on my door. Cecil dropped his overnight bag, gathered me into his arms and held me while I sobbed with relief.


End file.
